Regret can be a bitter pill

Regret can be a bitter pill if you let it be. Overwhelming feelings, stemming from regret of a simple word spoken, a word written, a moment spent in time. If you think about it, regret truly is just a moment in which self reasoning lapses, nothing more. So why do we hold on to regret, to negative thinking, feelings, self flogging at the thought of self failure of the things we do? What purpose does it serve? To lower your self worth, your sense of stability, to make you feel less than adequate? Doesn't enough of life cause that reflection and reaction? Regret, should not be a sword held over your head. Not a weapon of self destruction. So what if you were unfaithful, a teller of lies, painfully sarcastic, showing more skin that you think you should, giving more than given, dancing naked in the rain, whatever it may be, feeling less from it does you no good. I think you should process what you possibly should of done, and not hold onto what was done. Next time dance naked in the rain with a great partner, share that naughty pic with your heart and the one that shares it, cheat on the diet not on the one you love, and speak the truth, no matter how painful it may be, be kinder with your words, save the sarcasm for the losers that do truly need it, there are plenty out there. I think the action of doing something you may deem wrong, is a on a learning curve, one should simply try to think of other options, and then move on. Be aware of your actions, and if you make a painful mistake, then own it, swallow it, pride and all, then move on. Make it a win, change the next course. Let regret go, it's not a great keepsake, no one likes salt in the wounds all the time, unless its from tequila shots, then drink on.

Holding grudges again another useless feeling. Makes one angry, bitter, smaller in the scheme of things. Life is way to short to hold onto grudges. Let it go. Forgive yourself first, then others, even when they deserve less than your good grace. I have been working on this act of letting go and forgiveness to people that gave me life. I am grateful for being alive, and know full well that without them, my parent's, I would not be here. Nor would I be the person I am. I can forgive them for not being perfect, I can forgive them for the pain, the sadness, the shaming, the lack of unconditional love, all because they did not know truly how to forgive themselves, for not being perfect. They will never truly say sorry, so I say it, all the time. I utter that simple phrase even when it's not me who is in pain, because I know pain all to well. I am not innocent of inflicting pain. I have given it to those who did not deserve it, did not earn my wrath. Anger comes to easily, hurtful words spill out to quickly, and sorry always spills out to easily, but am I truly sorry? Most times yes, but I accept those times, I don't dwell on them. Sarcasm comes easy just as my anger flashes, burns out, then recharges to be released in rapid fire. My daughter has learned this from me, as I did from my mother. I suppose it's a reflex now for all of us. Inflict the most harm before we receive it. Yeah, another area I am trying hard to fix, not just for myself but for my daughter as well. It took me almost 5 1/2 years from Bob's death to forgive him for all the pain he put me and our children through. Took me a long time to realize he did what he could with what he had. He tried at the very end, he really did, but as he said and as I did, to little to late. He felt my anger and bitterness straight to his soul, and I am sure it hurt him more than I will ever know. He loved me through my faults, and helped push me to be a stronger person than I ever thought I could be. No regrets now, a life lived, love given and lesson's learned. Now it's time for me to move forward and be better to myself, something I know he'd want, and always knew I could do. Stand on my own, no regrets, no longer holding onto grudges, no longer being sorry, no longer holding onto anger.... I am a work in progress, but when I am finished I will shine brighter than I ever did, and God help the lucky one that holds onto this diamond.... Okay maybe not, but smiling and laughing is a great way to pass the time... Let it go, keep on flying that kite...